He told me:
Believing is seeing!
I didn’t believe him.
Slowly, over the years, I began to understand …
I know that when a person is “in hate” with their partner, all they will see and notice is the things the partner does that validate being “in hate”. Anything good that is done is invisible.
Many people in South Africa believe that our government is doing a bad job – now almost all conversations are around the bad that has been done, the corruption that has erupted and crime that is climbing. When last did you have a conversation about how great SA is? When last did you even notice something that is working? It’s there – we just don’t think about it or on it or acknowledge it.
Yes – we notice, we talk about, we think about all those things that validate what we believe is true.
We only see what we believe.
Is this ok?
Well…. it is OK on a level – after all everyone does it to a greater / lesser extent. The little story at the end of this article is an example of where believe is seeing was not a train smash – it was just amusing!
It’s not OK.
It’s not OK when you are limiting your life.
It’s not OK if you are suffering because of what you are not seeing when you could be seeing something different.
It’s not OK if you choose to only see those things that allow you to hold onto being right.
It’s not OK if you lose someone you love because you insisted on seeing them in a bad light.
It’ not OK if you withhold from giving your best because you’ve assumed how you see the situation is gospel.
Train yourself to open your mind to possibilities by asking more questions:
- What do I believe about this person/ situation?
- What other reality is possible here?
- What am I missing?
- How accurate is my assumption?
- How does my way of thinking influence what is happening here?
- How would my life be different if I changed my perspective on this?
- What am I holding onto that I could let go?
- What assumptions am I making?
- How can I check if my assumptions are accurate?
- What am I not seeing?
The more possibilities you explore, the more accurate your view of the situation becomes.
This is what you want: to view a person or sitation accurately – with all the positives and negatives in the light.
This enables you to take decisions and actions that are appropriate and constructive.
I have worked on this over the years, and I believe it has brought me to a more peaceful and grounded state of being.
Yes – believing is seeing.
Sometimes its ok and not so serious:
The other day I woke up feeling not too good. Nevertheless I did gym, put the washing in the machine and made hubby’s breakfast.
Then I became aware that I was still not feeling too good. I decided to get back into bed.
This is not something I do often. In the 10 years I’ve worked from home, this was maybe the second or third time.
I lay there quietly drinking my tea.
Then I heard my husband get up from his desk. I listened as he walked into my office and then into the kitchen.
He walked up the passage. I wondered how he would react when he saw me back in bed.
Imagine my surprise when he walked right past me and into the dressing room and bathroom.
He didn’t even see me!
He asked the empty bathroom : “Are you in here?”.
I giggled and shouted from the bed: “Here I am!”
As he walked back into the bedroom I said, “You didn’t even see me!”
“That’s because I did not expect to see you in bed,” he replied!!!!
We only see what we expect to see.
Believing is seeing.