The importance of oiling the garden bench

Garden1My garden bench was almost white from sun and water damage.

“Lets oil the wood.” I decided and 10 minutes later ….

“Ah that looks better.”

5 minutes later I looked out and it was white again,  as if I had not oiled it at all. The oil had merely  soaked up and disappeared.

There was a problem

Now I’m religiously oiling the bench twice a day.

It’s a pleasant job and I am enjoying been out in the fresh morning air and the cool of the evening. Whilst I’m doing it, my thoughts wander. Last night they wandered to the emotional bank account. I realised something….

Oiling the bench is just like depositing into your partner’s emotional bank account. (Thanks to Stephen Covey for this concept)


Deposits into the bank account (doing things for the other that make their heart’s smile) means you are  taking care of your partner and your relationship. Oiling the bench is taking care of the bench.

When your emotional bank account is strongly in the positive your relationship will be beautiful and your partner will be happy and you will be happy.

When the bench is oiled regularly it looks beautiful.

I neglected to oil the bench for way too long. Now one application of oil is not enough. It’s going to take many days of  intensive care for the bench to reflect its gorgeous golden brown wood back at me in the mornings.

Neglecting your partner is like neglecting the bench

Just the same as in relationships….

If you neglect your relationship for too long and if you are making withdrawals from the emotional bank account on a regular basis then your relationship will be in a bad state.

You will find that one deposit will make no difference. You cannot do one “nice” thing for your partner and hope that the days and months of neglect are wiped away. It does not work like that.

Like me, you are going to have to do a lot of work to restore your relationship to a strong and healthy state.

For now I am oiling the bench twice a  day. It’s  still going to take a few more weeks  of work for my bench to look healthy and strong again. I just hope I haven’t left it too late.

Oil the bench regularly

Take a look at your relationship. How healthy is it? How happy is your partner? How happy are you?

If it’s not looking healthy and before it’s too late, start making deposits on a regular basis. You have the power to restore your relationship and then to reap the benefits of a healthy and loving relationship.

Your decision…

“What love we’ve given,
we’ll have forever.
What love we fail to give,
will be lost for all eternity.”
  Leo Buscaglia


About Kirsten Long

Coach. Toastmaster. Prison-worker. Wife. Mother. Friend.
This entry was posted in Choices, Happiness, Lessons, Life Mastery, Relationships. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The importance of oiling the garden bench

  1. Olaf says:

    The oil is food for the wooden bench – the blog post is food for thought!

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