I challenge you in honour of Stephen R. Covey

I challenge you today  in honour of Stephen Covey


“The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing”

When I heard that Stephen R. Covey passed away on the 16th July, I felt truly sad , and then grateful for the wisdom sitting on my bookshelves  which will always be available to me and to you.

Naturally I took our one of the well-leafed books off the shelf this morning and flicked through it, reminding me of the aspects I have learnt from him that I have incorporated into my life (and the ones that I am still working on!)

For me, the emotional bank account is one of the most useful aspects I learnt from Stephen Covey.

Understanding and incorporating the emotional bank account is the most powerful way to keep your relationships on track and healthy:

  • Make deposits into the other person’s emotional bank account on a daily basis.
  • Deposits include: courtesy, kindness, honesty, respect, integrity, affirmations, acts of service, involvement etc…. there are many more.
  • Make sure the your balance in the other persons emotions bank account is healthy and positive.
  • Make sure the deposits you make are meaningful for the other person and not only meaningful for you. If you don’t know where to start, get hold of “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman.
  • When the bank balance is high, the other person will trust you.
  • When the bank balance is overdrawn, you will be given little flexibility for mistakes from the other person.
  • Keep withdrawals to the minimum.
  • Withdrawals include: discourtesy, disrespect, unkindness, ignoring, not listening, betrayals, gossiping about the person etc… there are many more.

You have an emotional bank account with EVERONE that you have a relationship with – including yourself!

What are the withdrawals you make from your own emotional bank account? – Sabotage, excuses, lack of discipline, lack of self-belief, over-indulgence, behaviour conflicting with your values, laziness, procrastination….

What are your most common withdrawals? What are you going to do about it?

What deposits do you make into your own emotional bank account? – keeping promises, being accountable to self, spending time on reflection, eating healthily, regular exercise….

What are the 5 deposits you would benefit from doing more of? What are you going to do about it?

In honour of the passing of Stephen R. Covey, my challenge to you (and myself) is the following:

  • Think about your various relationships. Find one where the balance is negative, and make a deposit every day for the next 7 days.
  • Make a daily deposit into your own bank account for the next 30 days.
  • Keep a record of any shifts that occur.

May your life have many deposits and few withdrawals….

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About Kirsten Long

Coach. Toastmaster. Prison-worker. Wife. Mother. Friend.
This entry was posted in Communication, Habits, Life Mastery, Relationships. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to I challenge you in honour of Stephen R. Covey

  1. Pingback: Jason Mraz does it for me | Kirsten Long, Coach 4 Life

  2. Thabo says:

    But its sentiments remain relevant today, and I present it again as an appreciation of all those who have died for us in battle. It was, and remains today, a day to salute heroes. It was a huge loose of our self actualization lecture Stephen R. Covey. For me, the Speed of Trust is one of the most useful aspects I learnt from Stephen Covey. May his soul rest in Peace.
    Thabo (mosoleth@yahoo.com)

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